Where Are They Now?

Phone rings

Jill: General Hospital. Jill Farren Phelps office.

Megan: May I speak with miss Phelps, please.

Jill: Hey Meg, it’s me.

Megan: Hey Jill. Where’s Alec.

Jill: Um, I don’t have an assistant anymore. He works for Guza upstairs now.

Megan: Oh, that sucks. Are you getting a new one?

Jill: Maybe, we’ll see. I offered the job to Jamie Ray Newman, but she told me to bite her.

Megan: How could she be your assistant? She’s on the show.

Jill: Meg, haven’t you been watching?

Megan: No. Don’t tell me they sent her back to Europe.

Jill: Nope. They blew her up.

Megan: Cool.

Jill:Yeah.

Megan: So, what else is going on?

Jill: Well, Laura’s crazy now.

Megan: Really? Did she blow Kristina up?

Jill: No.

Megan: Did she blow anything up?

Jill: No.

Megan: Well, then, how can they say she’s crazy?

Jill: I don’t know. She killed Rick Webber, though.

Megan: Who?

Jill: I don’t know.

Megan: What about Alexis? She still pregnant?

Jill: Yep.

Megan: Does Sonny know?

Jill: Nope.

Megan: Cool. You guys still keeping the plan where Alexis goes crazy and blows up the penthouse?

Jill: No.

Megan: Damn. I was so excited for Nancy Lee to go nuts.

Jill: I know, Meg. I know.

Megan: What happened after Carly faked her death?

Jill: Huh? What? Oh, um, we just kinda forgot that happened.

Megan: That sucks. You really should have-

Jill: Excuse me, Meg. Hey, Luis, this isn’t your closet anymore. Get your mop out of my wet bar!

Megan: What’s going on?

Jill: Nothing. Don’t worry about it. How are you?

Megan: Fine. Kinda bored. I’ve been watching a lot of Trading Spaces. I love Hildi.

Jill: Yeah, she’s great. I tried to suggest some hay on the walls of Sonny’s penthouse, but Guza told me to shut it.

Megan: You let him talk to you like that?

Jill: Yeah, well, Angela’s gone, so I kind of have to. You working on anything?

Megan: No. Writing’s hard.

Jill: Shyeah.

Megan: So, Jill, when can I come back?

Jill: What?

Megan: Well, you said you’d get me a job.

Jill: I did?

Megan: Yeah. When you told me I was being let go, you promised that I would be working again in 6 months. It’s been six months and no work. What gives?

Jill: Well, Meg. I never promised anything. Besides, I don’t have the clout I once did. Luis! My filing cabinet is not the place to store your Windex! Don’t give me that no ingles crap, you can damn well understand me, Luis! You’re the custodian, I’m the Executive Producer. Stop snickering, Luis. Get out.

Megan: You sound busy.

Jill: Yeah. Oh, shit.

Megan: What happened.

Jill: I hit a mine. I was so close. Fucking Minesweeper.

Megan: So, have they changed the show much since I left? When’s Stavros coming back.

Jill: He’s not, Meg. Let it go.

Megan: Were you able to find a place for Tim Gibbs?

Jill: He’s stopped taking my calls, actually.

Megan: Well, at least you’ve got the Sarah character there. So much potential.

Jill: Yeah. About that. She’s kinda gone.

Megan: Did Laura blow her up?

Jill: No, she just kinda disappeared. No one seemed to notice.

Megan: Oh, I see. Jill, I really need a job. I’m living on Ramen here.

Jill: Meg, I don’t know what to say. You could always go back to acting. And I think the Taco Bell on Olympic is hiring.

Megan: But I’m a writer, Jill. Remember. You told me I was a genius.

Jill: Did I?

Megan: Yeah, remember, it was during that month in 99 when you had that cold. You kept telling me I was brilliant.

Jill: Yeah, I don’t really remember 1999. NyQuil.

Megan: Oh. Right. How’s that going?

Jill: Still sober. Luis! For the last time, that is not a goddamned mop sink anymore!

Megan: Well, I guess I’ll let you go. Tell Bob and Chuck “Hi” for me.

Jill: Okay, I will. If I see them. They don’t really like it when I go upstairs.

Megan: Oh, I see. Well, take care.

Jill: You, too, Meg. Hey, you know what? We may be hiring a new custodian. You interested? We could share an office.

Megan: Really? Cool. Any chance I can use a leaf blower?

Jill: I’ll see what I can do.

Megan: You rock, Jill. Oh, I got to go. Pam’s about to see the fireplace. She’s gonna cry.

Jill: Kay. Bye.

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