On the 2001 Oscar™ Nominations

On Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.

Jill: So, what did you think, Meg?

Megan:Well, it was good and all, but it was missing something.

Jill: A heretofore unmentioned sister for Frodo?

Megan: That would have been great. All in all, I didn’t find it compelling.

Jill: But, what a great opportunity for synergy and tie-in merchandise? Who wouldn’t want their own gold-plated One Ring? I bet those would sell better than the Nurse’s Ball T-Shirts.

Megan: They could even follow our lead and donate the proceeds to charity.

Jill: Heh. Yeah. Charity.

On A Beautiful Mind

Megan: Okay, so I don’t get it. He’s crazy and yet he never plants a bomb in an attempt to kill the entire town. I thought crazy people always set bombs in an attempt to kill the entire town. Am I wrong?

Jill: No, Meg. It was just lazy writing on Akiva Goldsman’s part. And Russell should have-

Megan: Jill, enough. Shirtless. We get it. But, they had such an opportunity to show real mental illness. The psychopathic need to kill your enemies. The assumption of someone else’s identity. The making people think they have AIDS. These are things all nut-jobs do. What does he do? Win a Nobel Prize and ignore his wife. So unrealistic.

Jill: I know. That could never happen.

On In the Bedroom

Jill: This had everything. An affair. A death. A crazy stalker guy.

Megan: I know. It moved too fast, though. They could have easily filled another two hours with things almost happening, but then not.

Jill: Too true. It’s always better when it’s dragged out to the point where no one cares anymore. That’s how you entertain an audience.

On Gosford Park

Jill: British people. Whatever.

Megan: I know. The servants weren’t wacky enough. Loved that they were sisters, though.

Jill: That almost saved the movie for me. They never mentioned that either of them even had a sister and then suddenly revealed it at the end. That is storytelling brilliance.

On Moulin Rouge

Megan: Jill. Jill? You okay? You look like you’re having a stroke.

Jill: So. Many. Songs.

Megan:They sure did use a lot of popular music.

Jill: My only complaint is that they had the actors sing them. It would have been much better if the music had just played in the background while they walked around wordlessly. The right song can make anything seem dramatic, even eating soup or checking the mail.

Megan: I’m proud of you for not saying it, but why no shirtless Ewan?

Jill: Word.

Megan: Huh?

Jill: Word to him being shirtless.

Megan:What does that mean?

Jill: It means I agree with you.

Megan: Oh, was that jive? I’ll have to have Taggert say that soon so he’ll seem more authentic.

Jill: Good plan.

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