I've had a personal web site for almost two years now, but it wasn't until I launched Bad Tiki in September that I put any effort in marketing or getting the word out. So far, the experience has been very enlightening. When I posted my American Idol live review, I hopped over to the board on Television Without Pity and wrote a few general thoughts on the concert and included a link to this site. I was hoping to generate some traffic. Well, I did.

Apparently, I am a very, very mean boy.

Now, the sacks of hate mail I feared from rabid Ejay fans never materialized, but when my article was posted on several American Idol boards where, unlike TWoP, snark is not the order of the day, a few posters took me to task for being so mean to Justin. I'm sorry, but if you decide to wear the fro, you have to deal with those who do not like the fro. I know from experience. I had a fro in college. Let us never speak of it again.

I also reminded someone of the gay guys in the music department at her University. Since the Theatre department took to snapping our fingers and breaking into "When You're a Jet" upon meeting the Music majors in the hall, it took me a second to realize that was not intended as an insult.

After the article was posted, I received a few e-mails from people who had read the review, surfed around the site and liked what they saw. It was so exciting to hear from perfect strangers who enjoyed what I wrote. Everyone said nice things, which was great. But, part of putting oneself out there is finding people who completely revile you. Just once, I'd like to be reviled, just a little bit. (To anyone who e-mailed me, thanks again.)

So, I've spent some time reading my webstats, seeing where people are surfing in from and how many visits I get a day. This also affords me the opportunity to see when the site has come up in a Google search. A list of a few of the searches:

First there are a few tiki-related searches, naturally

Tiki bad
badtiki
list of tiki god names
tiki
tiki horror

Then, a few American Idol related searches:

Ryan Starr
Ryan Starr clothing
Jim Verarros
Jim Verraros and Gay
Nikki Mckibbon videos
Tiffany Montgomery
american idol logo

And a few other celebrities I have mentioned in articles:

Phil Keoghan
kelly menighan Hensley
laura innes
nicky paris Hilton

None of these are surprising. But the following three are my favorites.

is it bad to have a boyfriend

(Um, no. I wonder how Google responded?)

huge basooms

(bet this person got a bit of a surprise. No basooms to be found here)

My favorite, though, has to be:

leelee sobieski tatas

I spend so much time writing about Ms. Sobieski and her boobies, it's a wonder I don't just change the name of the site. What's fascinating here is that someone searched not for Leelee Sobieski's breasts, boobs or tits, but for her "tatas". It seems a rather narrow search using a somewhat rare euphemism. So, in the interest of generating as much traffic for the site as possible and as a sort of grand experiment devised by a very bored, very unemployed guy in L.A., I give you a list that's sure to give Google a goose.

boobies
blouse bunnies
bodacious tatas
orbs-a-plenty
bazooms (alternate spelling)
dinners
melons
cherries
pumpkins
gourds (I'm doubling my money here, I should get cooking enthusiasts, too)
fun bags
grand tetons
breastesses
'lil bitties
chi-chis

And, since this is sort of a gay-themed site

member
love shaft
one-eyed willy
trouser snake
khaki cobra
pulsating pink piglet
schlong
man sausage
beefy burrito of manhood
purple-headed warrior
tube steak

So, to anyone who came here looking for Laura Innes's sweater squashes or Phil Keoghan's not-so-tiny dancer, welcome. Make yourself at home. Care for a Fresca?