My friend Lois Lane is big with the celebrity crushes so I'm giving her a forum to share who she's into, who she's falling out of love with and which former famous boyfriends just need to be put down.
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In the Corral
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New to the Corral
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Quarantined
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Out to Pasture
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Ghost
Riders |
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Guy Pearce
Name: Guy Pearce Nickname: Felicia Why He’s a Boyfriend: Guy has been a boyfriend since I saw in The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. He’s just so darn cute. And, the boy can act, too! Whether he's a flamboyant, bitchy drag queen or a by-the-book cop, he fills each role perfectly. His adorable Australian accent doesn’t hurt, either. He only solidified his place in the pantheon of boyfriendom in one of my very favorite movies, LA Confidential. That would be the aforementioned by-the-book cop role, co-starring opposite currently-too-portly-and-fixated-on-marriage-to-write-up boyfriend Russell Crowe. Best Feature: His toothy smile. He was perfectly buff in Priscilla, but has become scary thin since then (especially in Rules of Engagement. Too. Freakin'. Skinny. *shudder*) So, his really super duper best feature is the body he had 9 years ago in that movie. The Corral is not subject to rules of the space/time continuum. Things You Must See Him In: Priscilla and LA Confidential (surprise). Memento shows off his acting chops, as well has his bod’. Piece of Work You Must Run Screaming
From: When I wrote up Neal (mmm…Neal) I hadn’t
seen Ravenous. Now I have. I was desperate for boyfriend
material. Do you understand me? Des.per.ate. Neal has not been in
enough movies!! But I digress. So, it was just as assy as I suspected.
And Guy is dirty and weird throughout. Boyfriend Rule #429: Must
not make movies in which you look genuinely filthy at all times.
Blech. What Made Me First Love Him: How adorable he looked strutting around as Felicia Jollygoodfellow. He may be the only Corral member who looks completely nummy in ostrich feathers and "Cherries in the Snow" lipstick. Okay, well Ewan McGregor pulls off eyeliner soooo well, but that’s another write-up altogether. What Makes Us Perfect for Each Other: Hmm. I don’t really know all that much about Guy. We’ll just have to go with “Because he’s cute”. Why We Probably Wouldn’t Work Out: I’d crush his skinny butt like a twig. And, if he came along right now, I’d have to cheat on him with Neal. |
Opinions
expressed in Lois Lane's Imaginary Celebrity Boyfriend Corral are
solely those of Lois Lane and do not reflect those of Bad Tiki or
its owner. Lois Lane is not a professional celebrity stalker, she
is just an enthusiastic young woman with internet access and occasionally
dubious taste in men. |
