Neal McDonough

Name: Neal McDonough
Nickname: McNorris, That One Guy In Star Trek: First Contact [I prefer The Nazi Ray Liotta myself - Mark]
Why he's a boyfriend: Because chicks dig hot blonds, too. As the most recent addition to my Corral of Boyfriends, Neal is currently enjoying the benefits of being the boyfriend I am crushing on the hardest these days (or, he would be enjoying them if he'd only call! Neal, I'm in the book.) Since he's numero uno in my heart this week, that will probably also garner him the longest write-up. Just deal.
Best Features: Obvious choice: those buh-lue eyes. They're amazing. But I'm also likin' me that mouth in a big old way. He's got a pretty muffiny little bod' going on, too, if you go for that sort of thing. And, by golly, I do! But, even though he was muffiny in obnoxious proportions in Minority Report (patooey! I spit on you Tom Cruise!) he's got the cute little boxer's build happening these days.
Things you must see him in: Boomtown (Sunday, 10:00 pm, NBC). Watch it. Don't make me hurt you. I understand Band of Brothers is all kinds of wonderful, but I have yet to commit yet another ten hours of my life to HBO. If you're willing to sell your soul, he is pretty drool-worthy in his small role in Minority Report (Again…die, Tom, die!)
Piece of work you must run screaming from: I haven’t seen it, but I’m guessing Ravenous, which probably features him chowing down in some cannibal feast, is not good. I could be wrong.
What made me first love him: After being tyrannized all last fall and summer by the craptastic promos for Boomtown, I gave the show a spin (shout out to TV Guide for naming it the best new show of the 2002 fall season). Loved it. After about 7 or 8 episodes, I spent a few days in abject terror that I was just a tad too interested in the character of David McNorris, the fast-talking, jerky Deputy DA. After about three days of turmoil, I caved. Because, even though I pretend to play hard-to-get, I'm easy like Sunday morning when it comes to crushing. [Oh, I know. I know. - Mark]
What makes us perfect for each other: Well, our love is so new (and his film credits depressingly short, and nmumerous TV credits hard to get a hold of) it is difficult to say what will give us that special spark. He seems really in love with and nice to his ActualGirlfriend (Meow. Pff, pfft). I like being loved and treated nicely, so there's that. But, until he gets his - you guessed it - cute little ass into some more movies we are going to have to go with the whole "nice guy" thing for now.
Why we probably wouldn't work out: 1) Aforementioned ActualGirlfriend? Is an Amazon. She'd squash me like a a grape. 2) Unless he gets more famous really damn soon, I'd probably get tired of explaining to everyone who the hell he is. 3) He kinda scares people. [Yes, yes he does.]

Newsflash: (2-15-03) NBC will be exploiting the fact that they now own Bravo by airing a 12-hour Boomtown marathon on Sunday March 2nd. This Neal-a-thon will lead into the first new episode on NBC in 6 goddamn weeks!! Don’t miss a minute, especially Neal’s meltdown episode ("The David McNorris Show", Episode 1.9). McNorris has a personal meltdown, and we have a meltdown of an entirely different ilk when he does things like falls off the wagon, runs around in the rain, cries and beats guys up. Watch, watch, watch!! I don’t want to hear any weak excuses like, “It doesn’t matter because I’m not a Nielsen household.” Bollocks!! Just watch. And I expect a flood of Thank You e-mails afterward.

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