Ewan McGregor

I am nearly bursting out of my jodhpurs with pride. Well, pride and because of my recent discovery of the most wonderful donut shop in Seattle. I am basking in these veritable salad days for my herd:

· Neal’s fantabulous show is renewed for a full second season
· Damien will soon be jetting off to Greece to work with Scorsese.
· Hugh’s X2 has made approximately a squillion bucks, and counting
· The Clooneyman has announced Ocean’s Twelve, getting back to the insta-hit he was bred to make
· 24 is headed for a bad-ass Season 2 finale on May 20, and Kiefer is signed on for Season 3.
· George “Mr. Dependable” Eads was not the one to get shot on the season finale of CSI, so he and his new sexy sideburns will live to drive me wild for another year.

But, the most squeal-worthy news this week is the highly anticipated release of Down with Love! It is the perfect opportunity to swing the Corral gates wide open for the boy who’s about to stampede out of the shoot.

Name: Ewan McGregor. Say it loud and there’s music playing...

Nicknames: Yoon, Obi-Wan, “Eek! Ewan!” *Clunk*

His Best Fan Site: (Where you can go to find out his vitals, provided by fans much less lazy than I): Ewan Spotting.

Why He’s a Boyfriend: Not to overstate my case, but I am declaring Ewan McGregor the Cutest Boy in the Galaxy – this one and all the ones far, far away. In the ideal Corral, all the boys would be equal in my heart. Alas, the world (the imaginary, much-more-fun-than-reality world in my twisted brain) is too complicated and I am far too fickle for such equal distribution of my affection and...ahem...lust. It goes without saying that all the Boys admitted to the Corral have to be all kinds of wonderful, talented and cute. I love and appreciate each one on their own...uh...merits. Then there are my most favoritist boys, the ones to whom I dole out those extra few lumps of sugar. Ewan is the little rule-breaking boy who, every time I see him, makes me grin like a fool (shut up) [I didn't say anything - Mark] and squeal so high only my dog can hear me. He gets lots of sugar.

Best Features: While I like to think I can appreciate diversity within the herd, I have some pretty steadfast rules when it comes to appearance. No long hair or shaved head, no make-up, no little dudes, etc. Ewan bucks (get it?) all those trends and still manages to look so blindingly cute he should really be illegal. He can have the craziest hair, and often does. He can shave his head into a buzz cut or some such oddball ‘do, which he’s done for many a movie role. He can wear eyeliner, which he frequently does to movie premieres. He can be skinny and a little pasty, which he is because – well, hell! – he’s Scottish. [Hey, there's nothing wrong with pasty! - Mark] It matters not. Ewan transcends my preconceived conventions of cute and wins me over almost every time. A trifecta of rule-breaking, if you will. It’s probably the Scottish accent and his proclivity for on-screen nudity that makes me so quick to accept his rebelliousness. He also gets the George Clooney Award for Best Talk Show Guest.

Things You Must See Him In: I guess I should say Moulin Rouge, even though it is grating and makes me want to run screaming whenever John Leguizamo is on screen. Ewan is so impossibly handsome, it’s worth watching. His smile is what the term “lights up the room” was invented to describe. And his singing with and kissing on Nicole is adorable. Otherwise, I have seen several of his movies (Trainspotting, Shallow Grave, Star Wars, Little Voice, etc), but I haven’t done the obsessive film-fest for Ewan. Mainly because, while I love his performances, it is really his personality that makes him a boyfriend. [It should be noted that Ewan is twelve kinds of naked in The Pillow Book and has sex with Christian Bale in The Velvet Goldmine, if you like that kind of thing. For the record, I do. - Mark] I have liked everything I’ve seen him in, except for...

Piece of Work You Must Run Screaming From – Because I Didn’t: Eye of the Beholder. The Cutest Boy Ever stars with Ashley Judd, one of the most beautiful actresses of her generation. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, well how about everything? It is incredible that the director of The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert could serve up such a smorgasbord of incoherent crapola. But, if you can get a hold of Killing Priscilla, it’s an interesting and bizarre documentary about just that.

What Made Me First Love Him: I am a Star Wars fan by proxy. I like the original movies, and know a respectable amount about the franchise. My dear friend Patrick is the real fan and, if he suggests something like, say, taking the day off from work to see the premieres who am I to argue? When all the hype for Episode One was swirling around, I noticed the dashing young lad who was cast as Obi-Wan Kenobi. I noticed and I liked what I saw. By the time the movie came out, I was a full-fledged Ewan fan. When he uttered the line, “You were right about one thing, Master, the negotiations were short” in his best English, Alec Guiness-y accent, I was a goner. His playful, gleam-in-the-eye delivery of that mundane dialogue made that whole movie worth the price of admission. And to this day that weird sentence is a mainstay of my lexicon. The bad-ass light saber fighting with Darth Maul only put the cherry on the cake of my Ewan-lust. Did I mention I am only a Star Wars fan by association? [Ewan certainly must have something special if you don’t even take time to snark on that ridiculous pony-tail in Phantom Menace - Mark]

What Makes Us Perfect for Each Other: Ewan has a charming enthusiasm for life. It shows in the way he devilishly tells stories and throws his head back when he laughs. I, too, am enthusiastic for life. I show it in the way I tear down the freeway, blasting my ‘Come What May’ single from Moulin Rouge. I think Ewan would appreciate my abandon and the thrill I get from speeding and his sex-ay singing.

Why We Probably Wouldn't Work Out: Other than he’s married to a perfectly lovely woman and has a perfectly wonderful child, I think Ewan and I could really have something special. Maybe one day he’ll decide to toss over the whole “great family” routine and import a delightful American girl to London. We’d get along ever so well. We would. Shut up.

Corral Main Page | Bad Tiki Home | Archive

Contact Lois Lane