George Clooney

Name: George Clooney
Nickname: The Clooneyman
Why he's a boyfriend: Well, the whole blindingly cute thing has something to do with it. But, he's also smart, funny, can direct movies (apparently), and - best of all - he showed us his ass in 2002. Always a list-making move in my book.
Best Features: How boring to say "everything". But, really, everything. Aged to perfection is what he is.
Things you must see him in: Old episodes of ER, Ocean's Eleven, Three Kings; A bathtub.
Piece of work you must run screaming from: From Dusk Till Dawn. Doug Ross may have been a character he wanted to deviate from, but this was not the way to do it.
What made me first love him: Damn NBC promo department melted my grinchy little heart with all those teasers about Dr. Ross's rescue of tykes from a storm drain. Wet Clooney…I was hooked.
What makes us perfect for each other: He's a smart-ass. Guess what! Me too! What? That isn't enough? Damn!
Why we probably wouldn't work out: You know, other than the regular visits to the Playboy mansion (which I can see myself learning to overlook), I don't really see there being any problems with George. No, really. Shut up.