So, I have decided to re-launch "Boyfriend Search". Much has happened since I launched "Boyfriend Search 2001". Not much has happened to me, really. But much has happened. You may remember that the last Boyfriend Search ended when I met someone on the Buffy the Vampire Slayer posting board. (I keep waiting for that to sound less pathetic). We had a lovely relationship there for a while, but like all things built on a mutual adoration for Sarah Michelle Gellar, it was not to be.

The rules for "Boyfriend Search 2002" are much the same as the original. I thought about upping the prizes, but offering cash prizes would, among many other things, be illegal. Not to mention blatantly pathetic. I prefer to stick with the roiling undercurrent of pathos I have going now rather than placing it front and center. Also, I have a few additional rules.

Potential boyfriends should:

• Live in the Los Angeles area or visit often.

• Be able to understand, or at least tolerate, my growing fascination with Kiefer Sutherland. (In all fairness to Fuckhead, this began after him.) (And, people, please watch 24.)

• Be able to drive stick. This is not a euphemism. I want to audition for The Amazing Race 4. I know what you're saying--the rappelling, the hang gliding, the bats and rats and bugs. But the only reason I can't audition with my boyfriend for the show so we can wear matching outfits and run around India calling our selves Team (<Insert name of cute, precocious dog we buy together in a fit of commitment pique Here>) is my inability to drive a manual transmission. Also if potential boyfriend looks at all like Phil Keoghan, that's a plus.

So, consider "Boyfriend Search 2002" officially launched. If this doesn't work, I am no longer threatening to join a monastery, but I am threatening to launch "Boyfriend Search 2003" and nobody wants that.

Read the Rules

What is Boyfriend Search 2002?

Boyfriend Search 2001