Week of May 4, 2003

Truer Than Fiction. When Jesus (Seth Green) writes a play about the last year in Nazareth, everyone clamors for a part. But when it reveals too much about his relationship with Maggie (Bianca Kajlich) the auteur must contend with an angry Pontius (Marc Blucas). Having recovered from the flood, Lucifer's (Ted McGinley) final goal is revealed and it puts guest star J.K. Simmons, as John the Baptist, in danger. Can Jesus put his artistic differences aside long enough to save him.

 

Watch Your Head. With her boyfriend away on business, Charlie (Charlie Hunnam) decides to make a shocking proposal to Lola (Charo): If she loves Damien, he will set her free. But, if she agrees to marry him again, he promises to love her for real. Unfortunately, Lola is struck on the head by a falling suit of armor and forgets any of it happened. Will Charlie see it as an omen or will Lola remember everything before she leaves on a romantic cruise with Damien (Clive Owen).

A Cold Front from the East. Tiffani Thiessen joins the cast as Dr. Amber Ventura a stripper-turned-world-renowned-canine-neurosurgeon whose holistic style clashes with Dr. DiPesto's (Portia DiRossi) more Western approach. Sparkles and Dr. Gwen (Raquel Welch) have a night on the town that lands them in the clink and only wacky intern Pete (American Idol's Jim Verraros) can save them.

Data Processing. It's androids everywhere when Brent Spiner guest stars as the company's new accounting manager who has a few questions for Vicki (Katie Holmes) about her conspicuous consumption of electric power. Meanwhile, Sassy (Stacey Dash) and Howard (Wallace Langham) hilariously face their ageism when one must fire the incompetent and ill-tempered new assistant (Elaine Stritch)

 

Behind the Eight Ball. In the rousing series finale, Jeb (David Caruso) and Billy (Kiefer Sutherland) infiltrate a gang of bank-robbing pool sharks. But, when their cover is blown they must play pool for the life. And, during a particularly intense moment, they just might kiss.

Roach Clips. When Sully's (Abe Vigoda) friend brings a little something back from a trip to Humboldt County, the gang partakes then reminisces about their past adventures. Clips from previous episodes will be shown. Edward Asner, Frances Sternhagen and Sally Struthers also star.

And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going. Mordecai (Samm Levine) and Serendipity's (Carol Channing) newfound bliss is interrupted by the return of his high school girlfriend Shanna (Summer Glau) who still has feeling for him. Will Chad (Jesse Bradford) take the opportunity to confess he deepening feelings for Serendipity? Tertiary Black Character (Elise Neal) welcomes her plus-size sister (Frenchie Davis) to campus. But she and Serendipity have a sing off caused by the cast album of Dreamgirls, no glass in the building is safe.

Off the Rack: the Winona Ryder Story.

(2003) Rachel Leigh Cook stars as Winona Ryder in this dramatic real-life account of her dramatic rise to fame, her shoplifting arrest and the harrowing trial that followed. Also starring: Milo Ventimiglia as Christian Slater, Jared Leto as Johnny Depp and Francis Ford Coppola as himself.

This Week: Celing fans: are they safe? A special Bad Tiki News Expose: Kelly Clarkson: Not a very good tipper. The harrowing story of a Wisconsin grandfather who refuses to use his hearing aid. And in the Dunk Tank, Brian Dunkleman asks: Am I over yet?