Verraros: The Return
Soon I will be unleashing my thoughts on this season of American Idol. But Eric sent me an e-mail last night that really needs to be addressed.
I am speaking, of course, about the upcoming debut release of one Mr. Jim Verraros
Yes, Jim Verraros has unleashed the opening salvo in his attack on stardom. You may remember Jim as the elfin, glasses-wearing naïf who signed his song while singing so his deaf parents could “hear” him during his semi-final on American Idol. He was, of course, voted through to the final, despite having a limited range and an uncomfortable stage presence. He didn’t make it out of the first episode of the finals. And then, he showed up on the tour and scared us all and then asked to see our lighters. And then he went away. And it was good.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve heard a few things about Jim. He’s never denied being gay and has spoken about how that affected his time on and off American Idol. And good for him. Be true to yourself, Jim. And it must be said that Jim certainly has the capability of being cute. He always seemed so uncomfortable in his own skin on AI that he was certainly never sexy to me. But the guy’s no Savol. He’s got a geeky charm thing going on.
Which is what makes this:
So distressing. I have no idea what this album sounds like, so I can only react to his makeover. With horror.
And I have a few questions.
Why is his wrist chained to his belt? Don't you think this would hinder him in his daily life and yet serve no useful purpose whatsoever? What is he in danger of escaping from? Does he suffer from a harrowing bout with Strangelove Hands? Is he on some sort of masturbatory diet where anytime he reaches for food the chain reminds him to jangle little Jim instead? This is perplexing.
Also, while it's clear that whatever hair-care regime his fashion consultant has him on has really improved the manageability of sheen of his tresses, do you think that there may have been perhaps a more masculine, or at least less "Natalie Imbruglia for Trésemmé" hairstyle he could have chosen.
What's with the armband? Who died? What tragic injustice is he protesting? I suspect the words "DeGarmo" or "Enterprise" are somehow involved.
Don't you think someone would have said, "Dude, you've got raccoon eyes"?
Do we really need another faux punk princess, albeit one with a wang?
“Rollercoaster”? Really? Really painting a unique word picture, there Jimbo.
Seriously, why so much eye-shadow? I realize Billy Joe pulls it off. But he has actual punk credentials. Well, neo-punk credentials. You signed. Your song. To your deaf parents. And it was like, “Ribbon In the Sky” or something, not “Anarchy in the U.K.”
But, Jim, I have to admit that I want you to succeed. I want you to improve and mature and be successful and out and all that. But this is not the way. All this says to me is that you’re trying to steal Ryan Cabrerra away from Ashlee. And while I realize that you will most likely succeed (because Liza Minelli would decide that kid was too gay for her) there are bigger, better things in this world.
So, Jim, good luck. If you make this whole androgynous/punk-lite thing work, more power to you. Because you’re not making this easy on yourself.
And lose the wrist chain, because, seriously, that is just dorky.
I am speaking, of course, about the upcoming debut release of one Mr. Jim Verraros
Yes, Jim Verraros has unleashed the opening salvo in his attack on stardom. You may remember Jim as the elfin, glasses-wearing naïf who signed his song while singing so his deaf parents could “hear” him during his semi-final on American Idol. He was, of course, voted through to the final, despite having a limited range and an uncomfortable stage presence. He didn’t make it out of the first episode of the finals. And then, he showed up on the tour and scared us all and then asked to see our lighters. And then he went away. And it was good.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve heard a few things about Jim. He’s never denied being gay and has spoken about how that affected his time on and off American Idol. And good for him. Be true to yourself, Jim. And it must be said that Jim certainly has the capability of being cute. He always seemed so uncomfortable in his own skin on AI that he was certainly never sexy to me. But the guy’s no Savol. He’s got a geeky charm thing going on.
Which is what makes this:
So distressing. I have no idea what this album sounds like, so I can only react to his makeover. With horror.
And I have a few questions.
Why is his wrist chained to his belt? Don't you think this would hinder him in his daily life and yet serve no useful purpose whatsoever? What is he in danger of escaping from? Does he suffer from a harrowing bout with Strangelove Hands? Is he on some sort of masturbatory diet where anytime he reaches for food the chain reminds him to jangle little Jim instead? This is perplexing.
Also, while it's clear that whatever hair-care regime his fashion consultant has him on has really improved the manageability of sheen of his tresses, do you think that there may have been perhaps a more masculine, or at least less "Natalie Imbruglia for Trésemmé" hairstyle he could have chosen.
What's with the armband? Who died? What tragic injustice is he protesting? I suspect the words "DeGarmo" or "Enterprise" are somehow involved.
Don't you think someone would have said, "Dude, you've got raccoon eyes"?
Do we really need another faux punk princess, albeit one with a wang?
“Rollercoaster”? Really? Really painting a unique word picture, there Jimbo.
Seriously, why so much eye-shadow? I realize Billy Joe pulls it off. But he has actual punk credentials. Well, neo-punk credentials. You signed. Your song. To your deaf parents. And it was like, “Ribbon In the Sky” or something, not “Anarchy in the U.K.”
But, Jim, I have to admit that I want you to succeed. I want you to improve and mature and be successful and out and all that. But this is not the way. All this says to me is that you’re trying to steal Ryan Cabrerra away from Ashlee. And while I realize that you will most likely succeed (because Liza Minelli would decide that kid was too gay for her) there are bigger, better things in this world.
So, Jim, good luck. If you make this whole androgynous/punk-lite thing work, more power to you. Because you’re not making this easy on yourself.
And lose the wrist chain, because, seriously, that is just dorky.
posted by Mark at 3:29 PM
2 Comments:
Dude, the album is hot, and Jim is hot. And his single is on the Billboard Dance Chart. Check it out. Jim was 19 on the show. Let him grow up as a person and as an artist.
I have done nothing to stop Jim from growing as a person or as an artist. And I wish him nothing but the best. Really.
But that is a bad picture.
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